..Do I look fat in this?..

Today's been a hard day at work but luckily I managed to finish my work! yay! That means tomorrow I'll get something new =) Speaking of tomorrow.. it's going to be fun fun fun!! We'll be doing this thing with the police where we will have to go to this place and evict someone from it.. because he's staying there illegally.. Ok, I know evicting someone isn't the best thing in the world.. but it's dramatic.. so sue me =p

Ugh.. I'm writing this post up in west street because I can't get ANY internet at home so I've had to resort to going out to go on the internet.. which sucks.. because that means that I'll actually have to PAY for a drink and all that.. haha I'm such a cheapskate..

"..Do I look fat today?"
"Honestly?"
"...yea..."
"Yea, you kinda do....."

Has anyone ever said that to you? In some ways you'll be lucky if someone has, because I've only been told that by two people. My sister, and my one of my oldest and bestest friend. And this got me thinking....
.....when I got home and got ready to go out n stuff, I started thinking about something my parents used to tell me and my siblings.. which was basically that when you get older you should be so lucky to have so many good friends around you.. because in the end, even though you've made a ton of friends in uni and in high school, at the end of the day, you'll only really keep in contact and still be great friends with a handful of people. They say that you'll only ever be able to count the number of REAL friends you have on one hand.. and even at this stage, I've found that to be true. It's funny though that thinking back, even though you would think that I would be hurt that someone actually said that I don't look good in something but, I didn't.. I took it, because I knew that it would come from someone who meant it in a caring way..

To date, I can only really say that I have maybe 2 or people in my life that I can truly say are my REAL REAL friends. This isn't saying that all my friends from school and IB and all that aren't my friends.. but friends that are REAL REAL friends are different. Surprisingly my 2 best friends in the world are guys.. haha okay, maybe the sexuality one of them is debatable (haha sorry ern) but yea...

Ern ern ern ern ern... what could I possibly have to say about Ern? hehe Well, I've known him since PRIMARY ONE.. surprisingly enough he's the only one from St. Andrews that I still keep in contact with regularly and sometimes daily.. He's been there through the good times and the bad.. We've been pissed off with each other, we've fought, he's made me cry all that kind of drama and yet... we're still good friends.. He knows SOOO much about me and my past. He's been with me through all my phases, through most of the guys that I've liked back when I moved to ISB and he was still in St. Andrews...sigh..through all my BAD BAD hairdo's HAHA.. we've both come a long way. Haha it still remains that when I have children he will be the wacky (sexuality debatable) uncle that hangs around LOL... I can always count on him to give me an honest opinion, which I don't always follow but STILL... hehe He's great.

Sigh.. my baby..Ben has known me for 4 years now.. and we've never had a dull moment together.. it's hard to believe that being with the same person for 4 years (even though for some time it was on/off and then we broke up last year for quite a long time...) you don't get bored.. I know I've given him a hard time.. He's the only person I know off (besides Ern) that puts up with my SHIT... my mood swings.. my PMS moments.. times when I've changed as a person,. .he's always been there.. I wouldn't say that during our time together everything was smooth and what not.. it definitely WASN'T.. but you know when you have something good going if even though you go through instances where u definitely think "this is it, it's over" but somehow you manage to fix it. He knows all my bad points, and yet he's always taken the good with the bad when it comes to me. There have been instances when he has really disliked me but it's comforting to know that he loves me nevertheless.. and I feel the same way. I think he knows me the best of all.

Sigh.. sometimes I feel bad that I've given up friends in the past for other things, or just not let a proper friendship happen and gotten to know people better... but I guess... if it was meant to happen, it would have... of course there are people that I'm close to (Nana, Kaka Fidah, Fid, I love you! haha) and to me, they're getting to be my REAL REAL friends soon..This has been quite a melancholy post, but I guess I was feeling a bit emotional (as I often do) and had to let some people know how much they mean to me. I guess the fact that we'll all be leaving soon has really gotten to me.. Because once you're away.. it's good to know that you'll always have someone back home, or somewhere else in the same country that you can go and talk to, or relate to.. because it's hard to create real bonding friendships when people have no idea about your past, or where you're from..unless for some reason or other you just click... But either way, I'm definitely looking forward to making new friends abroad.. without forgetting about all my old friends back home.. I love you guys.. =D

Till later...