..zahir..

"The idea of the Zahir comes from Islamic tradition and is thought to have arisen at some point in the eighteenth century. Zahir, in Arabic, means visible, present, incapable of going unnoticed. It is someone or something which, once we have come into contact with them or it, gradually occupies our every thought, until we can think of nothing else." Faubourg Saint-Peres, Encyclopeadiea of the Fantastic (1953) --Introduction into the book The Zahir by Paulo Coelho.

Hey everyone,

So, todays post, i guess is going to be centered somewhat on the idea mentioned above.. I guess lately there have been a few things happening in my life, both from things and people that have, through no act of consciousness on my part, that has or still is, occupying my every thought.... is this a state of madness perhaps? lol.

As everyone knows, I just got back from an amazing eurotrip recently, and ever since then, I have only been able to think of my experiences on my trip, and the people or person that I had the privilege to share it with. I've been thinking a lot lately, and for those of you who like a good read, and if you're feeling particularly philosophical, Paulo Coelho is definitely a good read. Start off with "The Alchemist".

A lot of his books are basically about finding the meaning of life, about fate and destiny and how to live life to the fullest, you should always feel a sense of freedom. Freedom in the sense that you should never be a slave to your job, to your family (even though family IS definitely important and you should never, ever forget them, or where you're from - your true home), to anything really. Being free is always being able to have the option to have your own choices. There is a favourite phrase of mine, which is quite dear to my heart - I guess you could relate it most to relationships, but in essence, I think can apply to everything >> "Being bound, but free". You could be bound to your wife, your girlfriend, your husband, your boyfriend, your family, your job... but still be free. That is to say still being able to breathe and not feeling as though you have to make difficult compromises all the time.

I'm thinking about all this right now because I was just talking with Nana darling about things like what home (Brunei) will be in 5 years time.. will I be there? will I be married to someone from there? who will I still be in contact with from school? The future has always been an interest of mine, mostly because I'm a big believer of fate..I think when you keep yourself free with choices, things will be thrown at you from nowhere and you suddenly find yourself deeply fulfilled... and well.. free. Free knowing that you may like this circumstance or not, but with the belief that when the time comes for that experience or circumstance to end, something new will come along.

Of course this idea is always difficult when it comes to matters of the heart. Sometimes the winds of circumstance throws in a wild card and you're left having to figure out whether this is a test, or a new beginning for you. Sometimes you may feel as though you weren't ready to let that experience go yet... that it wasn't time.. how much should you leave your decisions up to your heart? (as a side note to this, there's another Paulo Coelho book on this theme..) ;}

Nothing in life is easy is it? But I think that's the beauty of it. If everything was easy, nothing would be seen to have any meaning, to have any weight or bearing on the real direction of our lives -- we would never feel the real value of anything...

Up to now, I still can't figure out whether this situation I'm in is a test.. or the winds of change coming and has brought the whole thing to an end. Having quite a stubborn heart, I'm inclined to think it is the former ;)

Wow, I've rambled.. anyway, I don't really know what this post was REALLY supposed to be about.. I guess part of it was just ramblings of a restless mind... with some philosophical insight from an interesting book. Haha.

Anyway, before I go, here are some pictures froooommm... Copenhagen, Denmark!!!!! {I think I'll post up pics from my eurotrip every post, we visited 11 countries.. so I guess I'll have to write 11 posts.. haha I'm malas though.. haha}

..To fully understand the Universe you need to look with an open mind at what is going on around you.. "All you have to do is pay attention; lessons always arrive when you are ready, and if you can read the signs, you will learn everything you need to know in order to take the next step."..

xx

..sacrifice..

Hey,

Just had a great day with Nana darling, going around hyde park, getting used to my new skates ;) hehe Anyhoo, i'm still busy uploading pics onto facebook ergh.. i'm so tired of this.. why oh WHY did we take so many photos? While loading up I've been listening to this song on repeat.. it's a beautiful song.. Definitely one to share ;) It's Anouk - Sacrifice.



I'll probably be putting up more and more music.. as it'll help along these lonely days.. anyway, enjoy the song.. Bonnuit! xx

..back at last!..

Helloooo!!!

I'm back!!! I'm now back in London after my month long trip around Europe. Sadly, my eurotrip has come to an end, but i'm definitely back with tons of amazing memories, experiences and feelings. I was just reading my previous posts and I think i'll follow up one of them >> "..oh to cry again..".

So i think that i've definitely come back from my eurotrip with a renewed sense of being, not only because I think that i had the opportunity to visit some of the most beautiful places in the world, but because i got to share those experiences with those that were and still are greatly dear to me. In my previous post, i went on and on about whether you should let yourself fall and to open yourself, and to trust and I got my answer on the trip. Which undoubtedly made it even more special to me. I had lots of unexpected surprises along the trip and thinking about them now definitely puts a huge smile on my face.

First of all, a quick list of all the places I visited (in order) -- Copenhagen (Denmark), Stockholm (Sweden), Helsinki (Finland), Tallin (Estonia), Riga (Latvia), Vilnius (Lithuania), Geneva (Switzerland), Berlin (Germany), Prague (The Czech Republic), Amsterdam (Holland) and Edinburgh (Scotland).

Lol. It's funny, once I start writing everything that I planned to write about in my head just disappears.. which often results in me just going on and on and probably not making much sense =s haha.

hmm.. so how shall I put everything i'm thinking into a relatively short paragraph or so? well, i fell, decided to go for the ride, a ride that had lovely surprises at every turn, and sadly, that ride has ended. Did i cry? yes.. but only for a little while.. because I can now hope that the ride has only hit a bump, and has stalled for awhile.. but soon enough will crank up again and continue.. as long as it needs to. I felt free, absolute, and perfect...and who knows what the future holds? I don't know, that's for sure, but now, instead of looking at it with doubt and sadness, I'm facing it with a smile and hope.

I think that's it for now.. there are LOADS of stories from my eurotrip that i'll probably write about soon enough, but for now, i'm busy loading up all the pictures from the trip onto facebook, so for those of you who have facebook--you can check it out soon! I think I've got like, 2 albums up now, working on the 3rd one right at this moment.. its so tedious! haha. anyway, hope everyone is enjoying their summer!

ciao. xx.