..find me..

Hey everyone,

Phew.. so its the weekend.. and boy, have I started it with a 'bang' =/ and not a good one at that.. And from events, I am left.. quite... bereft (oo is that a rhyme? lol) and miserable.. for want of a better word. I dont quite like availing anyone who reads my blogs with the exact details of mistakes or problems.. but writing in this blog has always been quite therapeutic for me nonetheless..

Today has been quite interesting, I met with a very nice guy about french tutoring, so hopefully I'll be speaking french in no time ;) lol thats hot. anyway. that was about the only highlight of my day today.. =s

Last night was one filled with "interesting" events.. all teaching me valuable lessons, mostly about myself.. but is most probably the key point to my ultimate low right now.. the kind where you feel like slinking back into your corner or shell and do some serious re-thinking about things that you thought that you might have wanted. Needless to say, mistakes were made.. there's no way of changing that, but to come out of it and being able to say 'lesson learnt' is always a good way to start when trying to look on the brightside of things and getting over it. Sometimes mistakes are needed to make you realise that the thing you thought that you wanted so badly, or needed, was in fact, something that goes against your nature completely and is - something that you could never ever want in the beginning anyway. SO you start to wonder. why the hell did i think i wanted that in the first place? - But more questions never get you anywhere either.. if anything, it could possibly make you sink deeper, making you think that in someway there is something wrong with YOU. And this is probably where I am right now. ..'is there something wrong with me..?'

Mistakes can be a powerful and destructive thing.. powerful if you are a strong enough person to get over it and never look back except occasionally as does everyone, its in our nature to look to the past ever so often... destructive if you let it eat you up inside. I, don't know where I am right now.. Should I try strike a balance between the two? I can tell you though, I am in no way feeling strong at this point in time. And I am well deep into my 'shell'. (funny mentioning 'shell' at this point as being a Cancer.. we tend to do that when we reach particular lows.. to enable ourselves to mull events over.. some alone time if you will, to fix ourselves..or what's been hurting).

Now, I kno this is all very cryptic, but even without knowing the details, you can see the overall point of all this right? Anyway, life wouldn't be life without the bumps, scrapes, scars and burns along the way right?

Anyway, I think I shall leave it at there for now.. I might post sometime late tonight lol... if I can't sleep or something..

Till later..